Day 11: Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.

Well this is going to be a terrible post. I mean my music library is worrying. Or rather it will be interesting. I mean I know shite is going to come up and I won't be able to explain it very well. Oh well lets jump on this train and hold on tight as I make excuses for this.

1. The Magic House - Nobuo Uematsu - Final Fantasy VI: Well I was hoping this wasn't gonna be the first song but may as well get it out of the way. I have a lot of video game soundtracks. I am not going to be surprised if there is more down the line. This particular one is not that amazing. It doesn't even sound magical. Just like a rich kinda house theme. I dunno.
2. Dirge of the Fourteenth - Yoko Shimomura - Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days: Yup! There we are, yet another video game song. The story behind this however is it is a final boss theme. Spoilers but it is against your best friend and is quite sad. The plot is weird but the whole game is a bit of a downer.
3. Run! - Nobuo Uematsu - Final Fantasy V: This is taking the piss now. Sure I have about maybe 600 songs from video games but about 3000 more ordinary ones. This shouldn't have come up. If your interested what the song is a panicky "run away!" kind of affair. Nothing great. Not to listen to really but because guys are weird and collect things such as soundtracks.
   
4. Water - Nobuo Uematsu - Final Fantasy VII Advent Children: Fuck off. Well technically this is from a film but still fuck off. This is a calming theme based on Aeris theme. Aeris Theme is one of the most famous video game songs in the world. Probably second to the Mario theme. Or third to the Zelda theme. Never fourth.
   
5. It's Begininning To Get To Me - Snow Patrol - Eyes Open: An obvious spelling mistake in my itunes there but what the hey. It's good I guess. It's mainstream but I like Snow Patrol to an extent. Don't ever go out of my way to listen to them but just one of those songs that I picked up from the recesses of my families collective MP3s.
6. Sound Check (Gravity) - Gorillaz - Gorillaz: This isn't one of Gorillaz best songs. I prefer the second album really. This is just kinda fuzzy and I don't know it. I had to listen to it to know what to say here. Yeah don't listen to this one.
7. Attack of the Weapon - Nobuo Uematsu - Final Fantasy VII: Yay, back to this. I quite like this song. Would say it the one I know best so far on the list sadly enough. What can I say? Nobuo Uematsu is a genius. The context of this song is a giant godzilla-esque monster is attacking a city/harbour town/village. It makes you suddenly realise shit is going down. It really stands out the first time you hear it.
8. Invincible - Muse - Black Holes and Revelations: I like this song. It is a bit of an interlude for the album. It is one of the few albums who I can listen to right the way through. I like this album better than their newest album anyway. I certainly listened to it a lot on the school bus.
9. Ok this one doesn't even have an english title. As in it doesn't use the english alphabet. It is just some menu music though. From Dissidia if you care.
   
10. Ritual - Ash - Twilight of the Innocents: I love Ash. I mean they are not amazing but I remember them from my childhood when my dad had house parties and it was amazing. This album however came out more recently. I still quite like it though. I listened to this a lot driving about Spain.
    

You may have noticed I don't feel strongly one way or another about music. That or I have too many soundtracks. Well I am more a gamer than anything else. It is great to play games, better when they have an actual plot and best when there is a great soundtrack behind it. But I do like my music. Just I extensively categorise them into playlists so I don't get all that crap there. Yeah I have one for just me with crap, one with it all omitted and one that is a mix.

You know don't bother. I am just gonna say don't ask my advice on music. I don't have bad taste but you will never believe me after reading this. Also I am going to download another soundtrack now. Seriously. Right now.

Day 10: Discuss your first love and first kiss.

Getting in drunk, at 4am is the best time to write about this! Obviously!

Oh god it really isn't but I have to keep up! Can't miss a day! And since it is past midnight I already technically did. Fuck it I will check in the morning and edit it if necessary. ANYWAY sorry Kirsty, you don't deserve this.

Yup, my first kiss and love belongs to one woman. I say woman but I really can't imagine her as a woman based on the maturity of her actions. We are well still pretending to be teenagers. Going as far as our bodies refusing to age to look appropriately old. You can't make me act 20!!!! (says the guy only a month from being 21)

It started 5 years ago. And pretty dam close to 5 years ago as well, if I started this blog challenge a couple of days earlier I would be writing this on the 5 year mark. As I remember it I liked her and she liked me. Also we played a horrendously fixed game of spin the bottle (a plastic coke bottle, I'm not made of money) where we both pretended to not notice the fixed nature of it. And THAT was my first kiss. However this was followed by my first gay kiss, as obvious as it was fixed, it was not a very WELL fixed game. FUGGET THAT SHIT THO!

Oh yeah remember I apologised to Kirsty? That's because it was her! (Dun dun duuunnn!) You already knew that though. Or did you? You should have. Gawd. Anyway, post spin the bottle I asked her out. Over MSN mind because I was a pussy but I got in there none the less. BUT I had never had a girlfriend.

I was a terribly dull boyfriend at first. I was nerd (not geek because geeks are cool whereas nerds are not(I FUCKING LOVE PARENTHESIS!)) and this meant I knew nothing about girls. My days at primary school, not ever coming close to my first crush and my second crush in high school who fell ill and left for months left me in a predicament of never interacting with a girl I liked. This made it very awkward when I was at her house once. I sat about not knowing what to do. God, I didn't even sit next to her. (Remember that Kirsty? We've never talked about that since it happened. Now we can't avoid it. HAHA!)

Being this awkward and inexperienced it should not surprise you that it did not take long for us to break up. Around two weeks I would say. I remember when she dropped the bomb. We had just been around town looking for something for her brothers birthday and it was obvious something was up. She put off doing it till she had to get on the bus home. The shock made me walk out in front of this same bus and made me nearly get hit by it.

This was the start of the summer though. She moved on to some deaf guy I totally don't hold a grudge with still and in a way I moved on too. I figured we got along and failed as a couple. So I stopped being so tense and started treating her like a friend. I stopped caring about all the things I could do wrong and acted natural. We got closer and became comfortable with each other. Maybe she was surprised this ex didn't hate her. Maybe the surprise came from the way her other ex treated her. (He threw a condom with his own poo in it at her(Like I need to remind everyone who this is(PARENTHESIS INSIDE PARENTHESIS FTW!)))

This got to the point where we trusted each other a lot and saw each other in town. These were the weekends were everyone was in town and doing that underage drinking thing we did. Also thank you Iain for being in as early as me! Then I went on holiday to Spain. As a teenager I could not handle being away from the internet so much and I spent a lot of time in an internet cafe. A lot of this time was on MSN. The majority of THAT I spent talking to Kirsty.

When I got back from Spain my family had just spent the whole day and night travelling. So we slept during the day. However this stubborn girl walked her dog that day. And she walked all the way to my house. This was actually a fair bit to walk randomly for just a friend, I lived in the middle of nowhere. As it happens, that morning she had a gift for me. Something we had shared together a couple of times. So I got up when she knocked at the door to get this gift. It was chocolate covered coffee beans, which at the time were my favourite at the time. (Since then I ate a whole bag at once and it made me very sick, I have not eaten them since.)

As the afternoon came about I decided to get up and go in town as usual. Since it was the holidays it was probably a week day and therefore the weekend crowd were not about in the park in town. It was pretty silent. But I did meet one person in town. Of course it was Kirsty. (Whole point in the story people, KEEP UP!) After talking to her so much from another country, not being able to see each other made our real feelings obvious. It was another level from the awkward time spent at the start of the summer. Without agreeing upon it we lay under a tree in the park looking up through the leaves on a beautiful day.

From there the rest is history. Or so they say. We did have our fights and break ups. We were a pretty on and off couple if I am being honest. But we were both over dramatic teenagers. If I could see 16 year old Euan and Kirsty just now I would slap them silly. Dumb bastards. Couple of right eejits, I tell ya.

Yet we never really made onto each others bad side. We have been on good terms since. Truthfully we have both had changes in our lives. Every year of my life I have had a different group of friends. It seems I always swap about the "main" group of people I talk to. Kirsty on the other hand moved house and then moved school. We were the only constant in each others lives. Sure I have known other people for longer but I haven't had anyone who was that close CONSTANTLY longer than her. Everyone else has been on and off. Which is ironic seeing as that is how our relationship went.

Nowadays I would say she is my best friend. Unfortunately the time I realised this was when my last girlfriend asked me to stop talking to her. We were in a pretty serious relationship and we were going to try long distance as she went to Asia for a year. Kirsty said she understood and wished me the best. And it was then that I knew only a real friend would recognise what was important to me and make that sacrifice without a fight. I realised how good a friend she was as soon as I lose her.

But things didn't go well with my last girlfriend (understatement of the year) and who did I want to have by my side more than Kirsty? She knows me better than anyone else from experience and can quite annoyingly tell how I feel even when I try to hide it. Seriously, I don't get people when they want to distance themselves from their ex's. Sure it is annoying that you are no longer as close but they know you on that deep personal level that a friend wouldn't. But people need someone who actually knows how you feel to pressure you to do the right thing. People rarely do the right thing by their own choice.

Day 9: How you hope your future will be like.

Isn't this like the where you want to be in 10 years post?

Well I will go at it from a different angle then. This time I will go for an all out wildest dreams scenario. I was tempted when the 10 year one came up so who cares this time.

First of all I would like to be inexplicably rich. Not famous though. That requires me receiving attention from lots of people. Just rich is fine. And then I will pay over the summer for me and all my friends to go on holiday for the whole summer. But there is a catch. We will got to a city and play the biggest game of hide and seek in the world. Where we split into pairs and half of them hide while the others seek in the city for a month. You have to live inside the city and play the game the whole time. The two teams can of course see each other and have parties. I will make it so everyone knows each other in the game but the teams are closer friends. Maybe throw in some competitions where they do meet up to play a game and the winning team can steal a person from the other team.

This is a fun game don't deny it. You want to be part of it. Of course we can't always do this. Other than this I will live however I like. I guess I will pay lots to learn Japanese and import games/manga/anime to my hearts content. Of course I will visit Japan and anyone is free to visit with me. After all I do have stupid amounts of money. Maybe I should buy up a video game company and make them work towards games of my tastes. But then again it isn't good to restrict creative workers. Just choose one that has their tastes the same as mine then.

I will probably have children in the future. I won't spoil them but boy or girl they will appreciate video games. They are the future anyway, it is inevitable. I think I will commission my current flatmate Liam to make artwork for my house/houses. I am sure he would make silly, crazy anime style masterpieces. And probably wacky pokemon in some situation.

You know who cares where I end up. If I have somehow managed to avoid learning to drive then I win. I think I have said enough. I just accept the future as it comes to me. Now can I stop writing about it?

Day 8: A moment you felt most satisfied with your life.

This is hard for me. I can't off the top of my head think of a particularly satisfied. Would it be sad if I said something related to video games? It would wouldn't it. Nothing springs to mind for that either though. So I will stop thinking in case something sad does come up.

Let me philosophise here. By that I mean cheat. I think I am satisfied with the small things in life. Like having a good meal. You know the kind when you finished it and it just fills you and wasn't too much. You always say it was a good portion like the chef knew but it all really depends on how hungry you were when you started. Best finished with chocolate fudge cake I find.

Okay okay that was pretty crap. It is sad to say but there was times when I felt satisfied with my life. I don't want to think back on them but when I do I don't feel sad. My last relationship was mostly a happy one. There was times when I was really happy. Like cooking together or having an expensive picnic on a great day. I wouldn't ever say I was satisfied with my life though. While it was great at the time, if I thought about what was just ahead of us it would break the illusion.

Although who could truly say they are satisfied. I am a greedy person. It is very hard to satisfy me. This may not seem obvious but it is how I think. My greed is to have people around me. I can never have enough friends. I can never know enough about people or understand them well enough. People are far too fascinating to stop understanding. And the little unique ways different people act.

I am not trying to put it in a warm fuzzy way. I am saying greed because I want to understand in a cold calculated way. To strip it of emotion and look at it technically. I will be satisfied when I can again understand someone on a deep level. A level when you can see right through it all. When a person whole personality is laid bare before you and you can truly understand each other fully for that single moment.

What a silly thing to desire though. I have achieved it once before. I know the exact moment. Where I could see everything in a persons face. Nothing hidden, all the hopes, dreams and insecurities were made obvious to us. The look that says it all. When there is no reason to act or put on a brave face. It was when I parted ways at the airport with my last love. To not see each other for a year. It was an amazing moment but was more tragic than anything else.

I guess since it never ended well it makes sense that I think I won't be satisfied till I get back to that point. I guess everything leading up to that was the peak of my life so far. The most satisfied I have felt with my life. Just I can't look back on it and be satisfied any longer.

Why didn't I just think about a video game?

Day 7: Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.

Horoscopes are shite. I read someone the wrong horoscope once and they thought it was true. I told them I was messing with them and read them another. It was the wrong one again. They thought it was right again. So I said the right one on the third time. This time all the trust was gone and they didn't believe it. But it was the right one for them.

You see horoscopes are very vague so they can be widely applied. I am sorry if I am breaking anyone’s beliefs here or that you think I am ignorant for saying so. They made an art for the perfect balance of precise but vague. Things that are important and unique to you but with just enough information to hint at it so it can't be wrong. Anyway, enough whinging I will start comparing my traits to those of a typical gemini person.

Independent: I think I am rather independent. I can pretty much get everything done myself and don't need to rely on anyone. I find it important to be independent even within a relationship. You shouldn't become too reliant on someone else, not because I think it is wrong to rely on people but it in a relationship it can become too easy to fall into a secluded relationship.

Outgoing: Apparently I am supposed to “delight in socialising”. I don't. I like my friends and I like to see them but I certainly don't “delight in socialising”. I like my “me time”. As much as I like my friends some of them drive me mad. There is only so much trolling and singing I can put up with.

Great host: I am a good host I guess. I am polite and thoughtful but I am not lively entertaining or a performer, all of which are supposed to be some of my traits. I am a little shy in front of people but with close friends I guess I have no worries embarrassing myself. I am also not the life of every occasion. I sit in the background making intelligent conversation.

Intelligent: I can agree with this. Mostly because I wouldn't want to disagree. I am intelligent. I just don't always show it. I am also supposed to be witty and cunning. I can agree somewhat to these. Sometimes I can have a stroke of genius and say something quite witty. I can be cunning. I don't usually though as I don't plot against people much. Just watch your back...

Magnanimous in offering friendship: Yes I am. I love my friends. I can say they are the best asset of my life. The thing I am proudest of is my group of friends. To me I enjoy managing friendships and keeping up to date with people. I am proud to call all my friends, friends.

Charismatic: I have the gift of the gab. I don't get boring in conversations. No I don't think so. It is distressing how some of my conversations can turn to drivel. I really find it difficult to keep conversations going if I don't have the same interests as the person or I don't know them so well. However I can be a great person to talk to. If you don't take things so seriously there are just certain people and get along with amazingly and not even try.

Reckless and flirtatious: I really don't agree with this one. I am pretty shit at flirting and I am not confident to be reckless. I try to take care where I can and I'm not impressed at all by reckless actions. The thing about these is you need to have stupid amounts of confidence to follow through. I don't. I don't have great amounts of confidence but I like to think I have enough. More than I did in the past. I won't drive myself to stupid amounts though.

Like novelty and change: I have to admit I do. In particular I am supposed to like change in love and career. And to some extent yes for the career part. I don't generally sit still and never properly finish projects. It is disappointing but that is how I am. With love I don't like to get into a regular boring relationship but I don't necessarily change it up to keep things exciting. I do new things to keep it fresh and make new conversation all the time but I have not had problems being in the same relationship for too long before.

Well that was all I could find on what us gemini mental people are supposed to be like. If you want a comparison then Paul McCallum is also gemini. If you know him then maybe that should say how different us gemini people can be.