Day 11: Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.

Well this is going to be a terrible post. I mean my music library is worrying. Or rather it will be interesting. I mean I know shite is going to come up and I won't be able to explain it very well. Oh well lets jump on this train and hold on tight as I make excuses for this.

1. The Magic House - Nobuo Uematsu - Final Fantasy VI: Well I was hoping this wasn't gonna be the first song but may as well get it out of the way. I have a lot of video game soundtracks. I am not going to be surprised if there is more down the line. This particular one is not that amazing. It doesn't even sound magical. Just like a rich kinda house theme. I dunno.
2. Dirge of the Fourteenth - Yoko Shimomura - Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days: Yup! There we are, yet another video game song. The story behind this however is it is a final boss theme. Spoilers but it is against your best friend and is quite sad. The plot is weird but the whole game is a bit of a downer.
3. Run! - Nobuo Uematsu - Final Fantasy V: This is taking the piss now. Sure I have about maybe 600 songs from video games but about 3000 more ordinary ones. This shouldn't have come up. If your interested what the song is a panicky "run away!" kind of affair. Nothing great. Not to listen to really but because guys are weird and collect things such as soundtracks.
   
4. Water - Nobuo Uematsu - Final Fantasy VII Advent Children: Fuck off. Well technically this is from a film but still fuck off. This is a calming theme based on Aeris theme. Aeris Theme is one of the most famous video game songs in the world. Probably second to the Mario theme. Or third to the Zelda theme. Never fourth.
   
5. It's Begininning To Get To Me - Snow Patrol - Eyes Open: An obvious spelling mistake in my itunes there but what the hey. It's good I guess. It's mainstream but I like Snow Patrol to an extent. Don't ever go out of my way to listen to them but just one of those songs that I picked up from the recesses of my families collective MP3s.
6. Sound Check (Gravity) - Gorillaz - Gorillaz: This isn't one of Gorillaz best songs. I prefer the second album really. This is just kinda fuzzy and I don't know it. I had to listen to it to know what to say here. Yeah don't listen to this one.
7. Attack of the Weapon - Nobuo Uematsu - Final Fantasy VII: Yay, back to this. I quite like this song. Would say it the one I know best so far on the list sadly enough. What can I say? Nobuo Uematsu is a genius. The context of this song is a giant godzilla-esque monster is attacking a city/harbour town/village. It makes you suddenly realise shit is going down. It really stands out the first time you hear it.
8. Invincible - Muse - Black Holes and Revelations: I like this song. It is a bit of an interlude for the album. It is one of the few albums who I can listen to right the way through. I like this album better than their newest album anyway. I certainly listened to it a lot on the school bus.
9. Ok this one doesn't even have an english title. As in it doesn't use the english alphabet. It is just some menu music though. From Dissidia if you care.
   
10. Ritual - Ash - Twilight of the Innocents: I love Ash. I mean they are not amazing but I remember them from my childhood when my dad had house parties and it was amazing. This album however came out more recently. I still quite like it though. I listened to this a lot driving about Spain.
    

You may have noticed I don't feel strongly one way or another about music. That or I have too many soundtracks. Well I am more a gamer than anything else. It is great to play games, better when they have an actual plot and best when there is a great soundtrack behind it. But I do like my music. Just I extensively categorise them into playlists so I don't get all that crap there. Yeah I have one for just me with crap, one with it all omitted and one that is a mix.

You know don't bother. I am just gonna say don't ask my advice on music. I don't have bad taste but you will never believe me after reading this. Also I am going to download another soundtrack now. Seriously. Right now.

Day 10: Discuss your first love and first kiss.

Getting in drunk, at 4am is the best time to write about this! Obviously!

Oh god it really isn't but I have to keep up! Can't miss a day! And since it is past midnight I already technically did. Fuck it I will check in the morning and edit it if necessary. ANYWAY sorry Kirsty, you don't deserve this.

Yup, my first kiss and love belongs to one woman. I say woman but I really can't imagine her as a woman based on the maturity of her actions. We are well still pretending to be teenagers. Going as far as our bodies refusing to age to look appropriately old. You can't make me act 20!!!! (says the guy only a month from being 21)

It started 5 years ago. And pretty dam close to 5 years ago as well, if I started this blog challenge a couple of days earlier I would be writing this on the 5 year mark. As I remember it I liked her and she liked me. Also we played a horrendously fixed game of spin the bottle (a plastic coke bottle, I'm not made of money) where we both pretended to not notice the fixed nature of it. And THAT was my first kiss. However this was followed by my first gay kiss, as obvious as it was fixed, it was not a very WELL fixed game. FUGGET THAT SHIT THO!

Oh yeah remember I apologised to Kirsty? That's because it was her! (Dun dun duuunnn!) You already knew that though. Or did you? You should have. Gawd. Anyway, post spin the bottle I asked her out. Over MSN mind because I was a pussy but I got in there none the less. BUT I had never had a girlfriend.

I was a terribly dull boyfriend at first. I was nerd (not geek because geeks are cool whereas nerds are not(I FUCKING LOVE PARENTHESIS!)) and this meant I knew nothing about girls. My days at primary school, not ever coming close to my first crush and my second crush in high school who fell ill and left for months left me in a predicament of never interacting with a girl I liked. This made it very awkward when I was at her house once. I sat about not knowing what to do. God, I didn't even sit next to her. (Remember that Kirsty? We've never talked about that since it happened. Now we can't avoid it. HAHA!)

Being this awkward and inexperienced it should not surprise you that it did not take long for us to break up. Around two weeks I would say. I remember when she dropped the bomb. We had just been around town looking for something for her brothers birthday and it was obvious something was up. She put off doing it till she had to get on the bus home. The shock made me walk out in front of this same bus and made me nearly get hit by it.

This was the start of the summer though. She moved on to some deaf guy I totally don't hold a grudge with still and in a way I moved on too. I figured we got along and failed as a couple. So I stopped being so tense and started treating her like a friend. I stopped caring about all the things I could do wrong and acted natural. We got closer and became comfortable with each other. Maybe she was surprised this ex didn't hate her. Maybe the surprise came from the way her other ex treated her. (He threw a condom with his own poo in it at her(Like I need to remind everyone who this is(PARENTHESIS INSIDE PARENTHESIS FTW!)))

This got to the point where we trusted each other a lot and saw each other in town. These were the weekends were everyone was in town and doing that underage drinking thing we did. Also thank you Iain for being in as early as me! Then I went on holiday to Spain. As a teenager I could not handle being away from the internet so much and I spent a lot of time in an internet cafe. A lot of this time was on MSN. The majority of THAT I spent talking to Kirsty.

When I got back from Spain my family had just spent the whole day and night travelling. So we slept during the day. However this stubborn girl walked her dog that day. And she walked all the way to my house. This was actually a fair bit to walk randomly for just a friend, I lived in the middle of nowhere. As it happens, that morning she had a gift for me. Something we had shared together a couple of times. So I got up when she knocked at the door to get this gift. It was chocolate covered coffee beans, which at the time were my favourite at the time. (Since then I ate a whole bag at once and it made me very sick, I have not eaten them since.)

As the afternoon came about I decided to get up and go in town as usual. Since it was the holidays it was probably a week day and therefore the weekend crowd were not about in the park in town. It was pretty silent. But I did meet one person in town. Of course it was Kirsty. (Whole point in the story people, KEEP UP!) After talking to her so much from another country, not being able to see each other made our real feelings obvious. It was another level from the awkward time spent at the start of the summer. Without agreeing upon it we lay under a tree in the park looking up through the leaves on a beautiful day.

From there the rest is history. Or so they say. We did have our fights and break ups. We were a pretty on and off couple if I am being honest. But we were both over dramatic teenagers. If I could see 16 year old Euan and Kirsty just now I would slap them silly. Dumb bastards. Couple of right eejits, I tell ya.

Yet we never really made onto each others bad side. We have been on good terms since. Truthfully we have both had changes in our lives. Every year of my life I have had a different group of friends. It seems I always swap about the "main" group of people I talk to. Kirsty on the other hand moved house and then moved school. We were the only constant in each others lives. Sure I have known other people for longer but I haven't had anyone who was that close CONSTANTLY longer than her. Everyone else has been on and off. Which is ironic seeing as that is how our relationship went.

Nowadays I would say she is my best friend. Unfortunately the time I realised this was when my last girlfriend asked me to stop talking to her. We were in a pretty serious relationship and we were going to try long distance as she went to Asia for a year. Kirsty said she understood and wished me the best. And it was then that I knew only a real friend would recognise what was important to me and make that sacrifice without a fight. I realised how good a friend she was as soon as I lose her.

But things didn't go well with my last girlfriend (understatement of the year) and who did I want to have by my side more than Kirsty? She knows me better than anyone else from experience and can quite annoyingly tell how I feel even when I try to hide it. Seriously, I don't get people when they want to distance themselves from their ex's. Sure it is annoying that you are no longer as close but they know you on that deep personal level that a friend wouldn't. But people need someone who actually knows how you feel to pressure you to do the right thing. People rarely do the right thing by their own choice.

Day 9: How you hope your future will be like.

Isn't this like the where you want to be in 10 years post?

Well I will go at it from a different angle then. This time I will go for an all out wildest dreams scenario. I was tempted when the 10 year one came up so who cares this time.

First of all I would like to be inexplicably rich. Not famous though. That requires me receiving attention from lots of people. Just rich is fine. And then I will pay over the summer for me and all my friends to go on holiday for the whole summer. But there is a catch. We will got to a city and play the biggest game of hide and seek in the world. Where we split into pairs and half of them hide while the others seek in the city for a month. You have to live inside the city and play the game the whole time. The two teams can of course see each other and have parties. I will make it so everyone knows each other in the game but the teams are closer friends. Maybe throw in some competitions where they do meet up to play a game and the winning team can steal a person from the other team.

This is a fun game don't deny it. You want to be part of it. Of course we can't always do this. Other than this I will live however I like. I guess I will pay lots to learn Japanese and import games/manga/anime to my hearts content. Of course I will visit Japan and anyone is free to visit with me. After all I do have stupid amounts of money. Maybe I should buy up a video game company and make them work towards games of my tastes. But then again it isn't good to restrict creative workers. Just choose one that has their tastes the same as mine then.

I will probably have children in the future. I won't spoil them but boy or girl they will appreciate video games. They are the future anyway, it is inevitable. I think I will commission my current flatmate Liam to make artwork for my house/houses. I am sure he would make silly, crazy anime style masterpieces. And probably wacky pokemon in some situation.

You know who cares where I end up. If I have somehow managed to avoid learning to drive then I win. I think I have said enough. I just accept the future as it comes to me. Now can I stop writing about it?

Day 8: A moment you felt most satisfied with your life.

This is hard for me. I can't off the top of my head think of a particularly satisfied. Would it be sad if I said something related to video games? It would wouldn't it. Nothing springs to mind for that either though. So I will stop thinking in case something sad does come up.

Let me philosophise here. By that I mean cheat. I think I am satisfied with the small things in life. Like having a good meal. You know the kind when you finished it and it just fills you and wasn't too much. You always say it was a good portion like the chef knew but it all really depends on how hungry you were when you started. Best finished with chocolate fudge cake I find.

Okay okay that was pretty crap. It is sad to say but there was times when I felt satisfied with my life. I don't want to think back on them but when I do I don't feel sad. My last relationship was mostly a happy one. There was times when I was really happy. Like cooking together or having an expensive picnic on a great day. I wouldn't ever say I was satisfied with my life though. While it was great at the time, if I thought about what was just ahead of us it would break the illusion.

Although who could truly say they are satisfied. I am a greedy person. It is very hard to satisfy me. This may not seem obvious but it is how I think. My greed is to have people around me. I can never have enough friends. I can never know enough about people or understand them well enough. People are far too fascinating to stop understanding. And the little unique ways different people act.

I am not trying to put it in a warm fuzzy way. I am saying greed because I want to understand in a cold calculated way. To strip it of emotion and look at it technically. I will be satisfied when I can again understand someone on a deep level. A level when you can see right through it all. When a person whole personality is laid bare before you and you can truly understand each other fully for that single moment.

What a silly thing to desire though. I have achieved it once before. I know the exact moment. Where I could see everything in a persons face. Nothing hidden, all the hopes, dreams and insecurities were made obvious to us. The look that says it all. When there is no reason to act or put on a brave face. It was when I parted ways at the airport with my last love. To not see each other for a year. It was an amazing moment but was more tragic than anything else.

I guess since it never ended well it makes sense that I think I won't be satisfied till I get back to that point. I guess everything leading up to that was the peak of my life so far. The most satisfied I have felt with my life. Just I can't look back on it and be satisfied any longer.

Why didn't I just think about a video game?

Day 7: Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.

Horoscopes are shite. I read someone the wrong horoscope once and they thought it was true. I told them I was messing with them and read them another. It was the wrong one again. They thought it was right again. So I said the right one on the third time. This time all the trust was gone and they didn't believe it. But it was the right one for them.

You see horoscopes are very vague so they can be widely applied. I am sorry if I am breaking anyone’s beliefs here or that you think I am ignorant for saying so. They made an art for the perfect balance of precise but vague. Things that are important and unique to you but with just enough information to hint at it so it can't be wrong. Anyway, enough whinging I will start comparing my traits to those of a typical gemini person.

Independent: I think I am rather independent. I can pretty much get everything done myself and don't need to rely on anyone. I find it important to be independent even within a relationship. You shouldn't become too reliant on someone else, not because I think it is wrong to rely on people but it in a relationship it can become too easy to fall into a secluded relationship.

Outgoing: Apparently I am supposed to “delight in socialising”. I don't. I like my friends and I like to see them but I certainly don't “delight in socialising”. I like my “me time”. As much as I like my friends some of them drive me mad. There is only so much trolling and singing I can put up with.

Great host: I am a good host I guess. I am polite and thoughtful but I am not lively entertaining or a performer, all of which are supposed to be some of my traits. I am a little shy in front of people but with close friends I guess I have no worries embarrassing myself. I am also not the life of every occasion. I sit in the background making intelligent conversation.

Intelligent: I can agree with this. Mostly because I wouldn't want to disagree. I am intelligent. I just don't always show it. I am also supposed to be witty and cunning. I can agree somewhat to these. Sometimes I can have a stroke of genius and say something quite witty. I can be cunning. I don't usually though as I don't plot against people much. Just watch your back...

Magnanimous in offering friendship: Yes I am. I love my friends. I can say they are the best asset of my life. The thing I am proudest of is my group of friends. To me I enjoy managing friendships and keeping up to date with people. I am proud to call all my friends, friends.

Charismatic: I have the gift of the gab. I don't get boring in conversations. No I don't think so. It is distressing how some of my conversations can turn to drivel. I really find it difficult to keep conversations going if I don't have the same interests as the person or I don't know them so well. However I can be a great person to talk to. If you don't take things so seriously there are just certain people and get along with amazingly and not even try.

Reckless and flirtatious: I really don't agree with this one. I am pretty shit at flirting and I am not confident to be reckless. I try to take care where I can and I'm not impressed at all by reckless actions. The thing about these is you need to have stupid amounts of confidence to follow through. I don't. I don't have great amounts of confidence but I like to think I have enough. More than I did in the past. I won't drive myself to stupid amounts though.

Like novelty and change: I have to admit I do. In particular I am supposed to like change in love and career. And to some extent yes for the career part. I don't generally sit still and never properly finish projects. It is disappointing but that is how I am. With love I don't like to get into a regular boring relationship but I don't necessarily change it up to keep things exciting. I do new things to keep it fresh and make new conversation all the time but I have not had problems being in the same relationship for too long before.

Well that was all I could find on what us gemini mental people are supposed to be like. If you want a comparison then Paul McCallum is also gemini. If you know him then maybe that should say how different us gemini people can be.

Day 6: Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.

Due to my internet going down, work and my social life this is a few days late. Can't say I am that bothered but I definitely would like to continue this challenge. So stay tuned.

Lets get it on then!

1. I am a gamer through and through. I respect all genres of games but obviously better at some than others. But that doesn't mean I like all games. I hate a lot of them in fact. I have lots of problems with the industry but I am still passionate about some studios and developers.
2. My music taste is bland. I don't go to the extremes of genres and stick in the middle. However I do like 8 bit and video game soundtracks. No surprises there. None of that screamo stuff for me thank you. Otherwise most music pleases me.
3. Despite the previous statement I am actually quite musically talented I played the piano and the cello in the past. Unfortunately I don't have any instruments any more. I was never able to own a cello and my piano stayed in my house when I moved out. I miss my piano.
   
4. I am a fan of anime. Most anime is terrible and is not worth watching. I found this out the hard way. And mainstream anime is good but will make itself entirely unwatchable by going off on random tangents. Nothing worth any of your time. So you need to dig and find those golden animes. The ones worth watching.
5. I used to have long hair not so long ago. Then it got cut off. This was a surprising thing seeing as 98% of my friends had never seen e with short hair. When it happened you would have thought World War 3 had started.
6. I rarely hang around the same people long. When I say this I mean every year at school I had a different group of friends. I still talk to a lot of those people and have lost contact with others. I am sad about the latter but don't have anything against them. My real close friends are the ones who manage to hang around for more than a year.
7. I am never confrontational. Or I never start anything. I would stick up for a friend and I know I would be useless in a fight. But I would stand in the way regardless. There isn't any real proof seeing as the opportunity has never arisen but I do work in a bar and have thrown out people simply by not backing down.
8. I work in a bar. (Surprise) I like it there. Everyone I work with is great and the customers are also a good thing. It has really built me up from the quiet person I used to be. I may still like being quiet but now I have no problem talking to people I just met, making conversation and dealing with weirdos. The best part is telling people they are not getting served again.
9. I have a fear of aerosol cans. I hate them. They stink, leave a horrible taste in your mouth and are cold and hissy. I used to say I was allergic to them in PE just to avoid them. I think the fear stems from someone spraying one in my eyes on the school bus. I hadn't had much contact with them before that.
10. My sleeping pattern is weird. It really is. There are those folk who stay up all night and those who change it by sleeping strategically. Mine is always changing. Sometimes it is perfect and sometimes the opposite. Sometimes I will sleep once a day sometimes twice.
11. I help do a podcast and a radio show. As part of Let the Wookiee Win (LTWW, google it) me and my two friends keep up a podcast and try to get our website big. Who knows how that will go.
12. I have a problem with the media. I don't like how it works or how it reports stories. A lot of it is fear mongering over nothing and glamorising people who don't deserve it.
13. I have a crazy imagination. It goes all over the place. And you will never know more about it. Unless I write a book. I don't write though.
14. I have lived within Dundee my whole life. It isn't planned but that is the way it went. I say this as I have no problem leaving here if there was something better out there. I would miss everyone here but I don't expect many of my friends here to stay either. In fact I know some of them will leave and others are going to return to their homes. All of life has those goodbyes in it. Even the ones you love the most have to leave sometimes.
15. I have a little brother. He is a little shit if I am being honest but he is also very amusing. He isn't all that bad I guess. We get along well enough for siblings. Better than most.
16. I value my friends a lot. Really they are the only thing I do care about. I do my best not to take sides or alienate anyone. I hate it when two of my friends don't get along but I don't make friends who are superficial enough to make me choose. It may seem all nicey nice and cheesy of me to say that but I take it seriously. Sometimes letting people go is the cowardly thing and hanging onto those who need it is the difficult but right thing. I have a few friends who I have been told weren't worth my time and a couple (exactly two) who have made my life difficult in the past but they were all more than worth sticking to. So I hope Paul and Kirsty know they are stuck with me now.
17. I hate anonymity.
18. I hate corporations. Or at least the way the large, infamous ones work. I really hate how Apple work and how they hold back on purpose in order to keep a fresh stream of products with one new feature. I also hate Microsoft.
19. I have a macbook but Apple didn't see any money from me out it. The best thing about it is it runs firefox. That's it. Also it just does things itself. That I like about it. Windows has always died on me. I hate that there is a lot of ways I can screw up windows. I am that kind of user who knows enough to do fancy things but not enough to do them badly and fuck shit up.
20. Java is a soul devouring beast. Coding is the devil. And I am good at both. I did a complicated project in a couple of days that I should have spent a month on. Sure I got a little help to get going but all the problems people were having it seemed I could solve for all of us. I hate understanding such treachery.
21. I am an introvert. When it comes to talking to people I suck. There are a few people I can talk to about my problems but they are always removed from them. An outsider. When I have a problem with someone I would much rather just endure it. There are some instances however when you can not avoid it. Especially in relationships.
22. I can waste time on the internet like nobodies business. Sure people find those one or two sites that you can sit in front of a zombie for ages playing a silly game or something. But that is for zombies. When I am on the internet I make a point of reading things, moving around and following what is going. I hate sites like Reddit and Stumble as I have recently discovered that everyone elses opinion of an interesting site is usually a picture or a one page gimmick. The site needs to be able to keep me coming back.
23. I said already that I am a gamer. It may not surprise you that I love to collect games too. A lot of games I own haven't been played yet and I still want more. Actually I am starting to get through them now and have to say I have great taste. Go me. Wish I could afford a PC though. But that is money I don't have.
    
24. You can trust me. About anything. I wouldn't come out and say this normally because I don't like to attract attention to myself. I am a reliable friend above everything else. I can go well out of my way for someone even if I don't like it. Sure, maybe other things I would say not to rely on me for. But when it comes to peoples problems I have a knack of being that shoulder to cry on or being in the know about things I don't need to know.
25. I am a jack of all trades, master of none. I can quickly get the hang of things and understand them on a deep level. I am open to a lot of things so my interests can vary greatly. However I usually don't have the focus to practice and hone my skills. I guess if I did I could be great at something but I love the variety in my life.
26. I am not a vain or shallow person. To me looks are an obvious bonus but they bother me very little. I don't try to look after myself but I don't let things get out of hand either. I don't worry about fashion or how I look before going out. Sometimes this is downfall when I don't dress up enough to a nice occasion. The thing is I just don't care about myself all that much. I think if I was fat then I would still be happy.
27. I love drawing. It is sad though that I rarely finish a project or take it to the next level. I used to draw only in pencil but recently I like pen better. I would really like to take my drawing to the next level and be able to just doodle fantastic things. I don't have a great desire to create masterpieces but just to make lots of little things that are clear and in proportion.
28. I never save money. I don't ever spend too much or leave myself with nothing. I just spend it on little things all over. Really it is good of me to never be in need of money but I can never set it aside to buy something nice. I am always relying on sales and the like to get what I want.
29. I am critical of everything. There are things that are controversial and either you do or don't like it. Whichever side I fall on I still appreciate what it is and what it does. I always manage to look at things for what they are. Even if they are good I can still be critical of something if it has a stupid purpose. Like the whole transformers franchise is just to make money off toys. This is why some people don't understand some of my interests in things I don't even do.
    
30. Iain MacKinnon will never get rid of me. Nor will he ever stop receiving random gifts now and then. He will always have to put up with me and my potato scones. I may or may not let him know I plan to invade his flat. Whoever is with also has to deal with me by association. I will not relent.
    

Day 5: A time you thought about ending your own life.

Wow! This got serious all of a sudden.

First off I have never wanted to end my life. I am in fact very against such a thing. I don't understand how you can throw your life away. Sure maybe everything can go wrong but there is always places to start new. Okay, maybe not in the most extreme cases but the percentage of people who have killed themselves and had better options is probably in the majority.

If all my uni goes wrong then I don't need to go to uni. If I can't do any form of education I can focus on a job. If a relationship goes bad I can stop it. I think these are really obvious things and to think that a challenge that anyone can take would ask such a thing confuses me. Maybe people do think that more often than I think they do.

I have some sort of weird thing where I can't accept ending life. I have thought about it and it only gets me really worked up and optimistic about the situation. Maybe I watched too much anime and it has gone to my head. Although that can be depressing too.

I don't quite like this subject so I will stop it now. I will try harder tomorrow.

Day 4: Your views on religion.

Oh yay I missed a day! I only say this as it is past midnight. In my mind it is still the right day. Hey I was out all day so it is a plus I wasn't on the computer all day for once.

My views on religion. Well. I like to live by my own beliefs. Sure I ain't perfect but I don't see a problem following most of the good lessons from the bible. I don't believe it. But that is simply because I don't trust humans. I don't think people could have kept a sacred text pure for all this time. People are corrupt. People in power are corrupter. It just smells like a lot of it is written or re-written to control people.

I don't believe in god. I don't have a reason but I am not bothered by it. I am very down to earth and try my best to treat people right and act proper. I guess I am not afraid to be judged by people so if anyone or anything judged my life and all its secrets I hope they would be happy with the effort I put in. I have made mistakes, sure, but they are the best way to learn.

I really don't see how people can say god doesn't make sense though. Can a human mind understand a god? A being that is infinitely complex? There is however this idea: "God can do anything so he could create a boulder even he couldn't move. But then if he couldn't move it, he can't do everything." I like this idea because it is an obvious and simple paradox. But it is just humans that can't comprehend a god. I mean I wouldn't accept a god that I could understand. I have heard the comeback to this that people are made in the image of god so should be able to understand. I can make a dog understand the command "sit". If I made something in the image of a dog, say a painting or photo, I don't think this "understanding" will rub off on it.

As for my views on religious people. Some people say they are annoying. Well some of them ARE annoying. But so are some of the people who say they are annoying. Some people are annoying. I think that's what I mean. What I mean is they are people. And usually nice people as well.

I had a conversation about people who try to convince people god exists and those who tell others to not bother. The point was made that people who say the latter have no reason to do it. What if they are wrong? It is selfish.
To a degree that is true. More than anything people just want to be right. And they want their friends to acknowledge it as well. If anything both parties are guilty of this. It is greed but desiring friends isn't bad is it?

There are too many grey areas to cover for me. I could go more into it but I would never stop. And I don't mean in the getting wiser and wiser way. I mean the going round in circles way. If you disagree with my opinion just check again later and I will probably be at the other end of the cycle and agree with you. Unless you like cycles as well. You should talk to my friend Pete. He likes bicycles. I think they are his god.

In the end though, being honest, I think chaos is good. To destroy something is to only set the foundations for something greater. (That's not a quote, its all me. I impressed myself.) I am not saying destruction is the way but a balance is. And seeing as chaos is usually frowned upon so much I find it refreshing. People who simply destroy though are terrible. It isn't balanced at all.

If all else fails here is a quote:
"Don't judge me, we are all going to die. I intend to at least deserve it."

Day 3: Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Now here is the real test. I say this because I am writing blogs to look smart and at least slightly educated. Or if nothing else make me look learned in life. However when we talk about drugs and alcohol, we talk about our experiences with them. This is where a persons reputation falls to the ground and the person is left bear.

So like any "smart" person I will tell all without shame and act like it is the thing to do. Just like how us "smart" people quote Yoda, Optimus Prime or Lost when in fact the real smart people quote Philosophers. Yoda is a muppet! Smart people don't like muppets. And I LOVE Muppets Treasure Island. (Jimmy, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jimmy, Jim, Jim)

First, alcohol. I like alcohol. Not so much the chemical, I find that boring. Like chemists.
I drink in moderation. And I never forget what I have done the night before. My dad is the same. But I like to go out drinking with friends all the time. Being drunk with other drunk people just makes the funs happen.

When I am drunk I am not much different. Just more outgoing. People say they don't realise the difference sometimes. But then other times I can get really drunk and do silly things. Like talking. I talk silly things. I remember at one party not long ago I got drunker than ever. I was talking shite but at the same time so many wise things. It was my cousins 18th and I was about 2 years older than everyone else there so I thought I could out drink them. The life lessons they learned from me were invaluable. Also one little prick said to me, "I thought my life was shit but then I heard about yours". He was genuinely trying to relate to me and be a comfort. No surprises then as to how he is a prick and doesn't understand how.

What followed that night was a lot of throwing up and a bus journey I would rather not speak about. Otherwise I seem to avoid hangovers and throwing up. It isn't that I shy away from drink but rather it stops feeling good. So I stop. Does everyone else just ignore this or does it just escalate?

Now the drugs. I don't mind drugs. I don't do them. Occasionally I have been recreational. I don't like smoking but have a lot of friends who smoke. I would prefer they didn't but I am not going to lecture them. They know what it's all about and probably better than me. Actually to put it better I can't smoke. I know if I tried I could get past coughing and hacking but then again when I think about it I would rather not have the ability to smoke.

On one occasion however, I tried shrooms. I was with a group of people. We all did them at the time. Let me expand.

We were in a flat. Lets say it belonged to Mr Flat. And there was a few of us there. Lets call them me (duh), Mr Beard, Mr Hat, Mr Bore and Pete. Mr Flat had invited us for drinks and some gaming. But then he came into his room with a tub. In this was what I would guess was quite a lot of shrooms. He enthusiastically dished them out. It was after a few minutes that we decided to go out to the union. This quite a walk from the flat but we felt up to it. Except from the fact we are not dressed accordingly. So Mr Flat dished out his Hawaiian shirts. There was enough for all but me. So I got a Davy Crockett hat. You know the one made from a beaver and it has the beaver tail. This wasn't made from beaver however.

So we set out! It was admittedly clumsy. We were all singing and dancing down the street except from Mr Bore. He was not so affected by the drugs. He was a little worried about us but we bounded on none the less. It was then that Pete spotted a Tropic Thunder poster on a phonebox. He wanted it. He couldn't get it off however. Then I peeled of a corner a little. He ran over and took it in an instant. But when he did this he was struck with horror. Ben Stiller was on the poster staring at him. But he was off the phonebox. HE WAS GOING TO DIE!

Pete spent the next good hour running around screaming about having to get Ben Stiller in a freezer so he doesn't die. He ran back to his own flat to do just this. He took Mr Bore and Mr Beard with him. We did not see them again that night.

Me, Mr Flat and Mr Hat were left to go on to the union. But the lighting unsettled Mr Flat and he wanted to go home. The street lighting freaked him out and he just wanted to leave. Along the way Mr Hat refused to proceed unless I moved a hub cap off the pavement. I threw it in a bush somewhere. I then got pizza from a takeaway. This in itself was weird.

As I stood waiting for my pizza Mr Hat and Mr Flat stood outside staring at me. I stared back. All of us staring in amazement. I looked at two gawking men with Hawaiian shirts on outside in the dark and cold whereas they stared at me with my beaver hat waiting for a pizza. As soon as I got it and went outside Mr Hat asked for a slice. I refused and used this as a premise that nobody is getting pizza till we are back at the flat. This was a longer walk than I thought. And on the way Mr Hat was adamant that every passing van was the government and we are being watched. However this subsided as we got in the flat and ate cold pizza. Mr Flat thought it would be a good idea to watch a movie. A really arty one about a killer picking off a group of men for revenge.

As the film trundled on and we were bemused by its themes and story half way in Mr Hat remembered he had pizza left in his mouth from about half an hour ago. He reckoned the best scene from the film was a car going down a street. I am sure it was just an establishing shot.

And that was about all that happened that crazy night. I thought it was fun. Wouldn't mind to do something similar again but I' not really going to go out my way either. To be fair I am happy without drugs. I am happy without alcohol but it seems like a good thing for partying.

Day 2: Where you would like to be in 10 years.

Thank god this is where I would LIKE to be in 10 years. If it was where I would THINK I'd be then I would certainly have a problem writing it. That being because I am the type of person who would not think ahead enough for it to dawn on them that it has turned 8pm and no food has been eaten so far today.

But it is a great challenge because of the choice I have. I can go full bat shit crazy here and say my most mental fantasies because that IS where I would like to be. Yet I am somehow sensing I have to be semi realistic here. So I will be... but first for those of you who care:

I would LIKE to have somehow moved into the pokemon universe. Logically it is the best one to go to just because everything is so damn perfect. And I can legally own a dragon. After I have trained only the most badass pokemon (Dragonite, Gyarados, Charizard etc.) I would possibly then start eating other pokemon. Obviously avoiding the steel, rock and poison varieties. I do wonder what a pidgey tastes of, or a nice oddish salad.

In ten years I would like to be living off of my interests. Something which just now is a long shot but I think it is not a lost cause. Maybe go into the video game industry as a journalist and after 10 years, work my way forward into actually designing video games. Doing something different though, not working on an FPS or for Activision.

Failing that but still on the video game route, own my own video game based website. Something to inform people of what to expect from the industry. Not to take shit from some publishers and what we should really expect from games.

Video games are only one possibility however. Just now I am part of LTWW. If our podcasts and website got big then maybe in 10 years we could be on the radio or something similar. Then become celebrity presenters. The best part would be working with my two friends Daniel 'Bob' Taylor and Paul McCallum. And whatever other friends I make who join the LTWW team on the way.

I think maybe that last answer is the one the challenge is looking for. Something you are going for right now which can be exaggerated. But that is only for my job you see! The rest of my life in 10 years time would be as follows.

• I am no longer single. I don't have a perfect partner in mind but I like to adapt to life so that one can stay open.

• I keep in touch with my friends and see them still. I don't want to lose contact with the people I am close to. And of course do lots of crazy things with them still.

• Live somewhere with good internet. Seriously, that is the only big thing about where I want to live. As long as it is one up from my current flat by then and I have room for all my belongings I am good.

• I suppose I can wish my brothers band does well... I suppose.
• Complete operation Bill Murray.
• Speak Japanese and own property in Japan.
• To still not have a smartphone.
• Learn Piano like a boss.
  

I don't know what else I want in 10 years. I am going to say that that would suffice. But if I do find a way to the pokemon universe don't count on seeing me again.

Day 1: Relationship Status

Oh goody.

I like saying that phrase because:
a. When writing, I often find it hard to sound sarcastic. And...
b. Nobody ever says this without being sarcastic.

And THAT is how you set the tone for the rest of the post! Because of course I am single. And I don't particularly like it. And as I have now realised, the only single person I know writing this challenge is myself. So this should be a unique read!

So I guess there are two routes here. Either flaunt myself or wallow in self pity. Personally I can't imagine those making good reads. Lets just try and be honest then.

For me being in a relationship is very important. I have been single for over a year now. If I am being honest it has changed me a lot from who I was before. Since my first girlfriend I had very little time being single until my last break up. I have always tried to be down to earth with relationships and I would never cheat on someone. I am loyal and in the past maybe too loyal. In simple terms I just don't mess around. I go as far as the other person wants me to, I don't cross lines and I am honest.

Relationship wise I am scarred. I have had bad breakups and then terrible ones. I had times where I needed to work hard and times where I needed to put all I had on the line. Even though I put everything into those times, when it was over and I took a step back and, to be honest, the judgement of one teenage girl was never enough to cut me down.

I get along well with girls. In fact I say I usually get along better with girls. Most of my best friends are/were girls. It just seems I make a much better friend than a boyfriend. Now that isn't to have a go at girls saying I am unappreciated by them. In fact I made a conscious decision that I don't have to choose between having a girlfriend or having a best friend who is a girl. Because I can have both. I really appreciate having some friends as just friends.

On the down side I am incredibly easily put in the friend zone. There ain't nothing like being asked by someone to maybe sweep my feelings for them under the carpet and act like nothing happened. (Bad Euan, no bitching!) But at the same time I can make close friends with girls in months like we have known each other for years. That's always a plus!

So why does being single bother me that much? The vast majority of my friends are not single. I know virtually zero available girls and any male friends I hang out with regularly are all in relationships. Sometimes I feel like I go out of my way to see people but not the other way round. As I see it being in a relationship solves these things.

As for what girls I like. Well I am not fussy, and I don't say that in a "it doesn't matter to me" kind of way. Looks are always a plus, lets not pretend here, but I can easily look past them and find something attractive in anyone.

What interests me the most is just how different people work on the inside. So different personalities appeal to me in different ways. For instance I find girls who are quiet, shy and geeky cute. Whereas girls who are loud and opinionated are admirable to me. I think everyone is equal so there is a lot of people I can love equally once I know them on a deep enough level.

I think that is all I have to say on the matter that matters. I am sure it isn't an amazing read but maybe it can be interesting. Maybe people can see a different side to me. I am sure I have a lot of friends who haven't seen what I am like in a couple.

30 Day challenge

Like any average person I have a blog. Like most average folk if my blog was a tamagotchi and it was fed by me writing in it, it would have died several times. After being reset between every death with a renewed sense of purpose which lasted a full 10 seconds. No more. No less.

So why do I bother writing this time? Well my friends are doing it and the clever ones at that. I want to be included in that little group of people who appear clever but who have in fact just read a lot of wikipedia articles or reruns of QI.
Pro tip: When reading wikipedia never leave the article until you finished reading it or you lose interest. Whenever a link inside the article interests you open it in another tab and now you can generate 5 or 6 new articles to read from every one you do read!

So writing isn't something I can get excited about but fret not! I have a gimmick to hold my attention this time. I can get excited about gimmicks. You should too.



So this is the gimmick. I am sure you can read it so I won't explain it any further than each day for 30 days I post a blog according to the subject on the list.

Enjoy!