Day 3: Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Now here is the real test. I say this because I am writing blogs to look smart and at least slightly educated. Or if nothing else make me look learned in life. However when we talk about drugs and alcohol, we talk about our experiences with them. This is where a persons reputation falls to the ground and the person is left bear.

So like any "smart" person I will tell all without shame and act like it is the thing to do. Just like how us "smart" people quote Yoda, Optimus Prime or Lost when in fact the real smart people quote Philosophers. Yoda is a muppet! Smart people don't like muppets. And I LOVE Muppets Treasure Island. (Jimmy, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jimmy, Jim, Jim)

First, alcohol. I like alcohol. Not so much the chemical, I find that boring. Like chemists.
I drink in moderation. And I never forget what I have done the night before. My dad is the same. But I like to go out drinking with friends all the time. Being drunk with other drunk people just makes the funs happen.

When I am drunk I am not much different. Just more outgoing. People say they don't realise the difference sometimes. But then other times I can get really drunk and do silly things. Like talking. I talk silly things. I remember at one party not long ago I got drunker than ever. I was talking shite but at the same time so many wise things. It was my cousins 18th and I was about 2 years older than everyone else there so I thought I could out drink them. The life lessons they learned from me were invaluable. Also one little prick said to me, "I thought my life was shit but then I heard about yours". He was genuinely trying to relate to me and be a comfort. No surprises then as to how he is a prick and doesn't understand how.

What followed that night was a lot of throwing up and a bus journey I would rather not speak about. Otherwise I seem to avoid hangovers and throwing up. It isn't that I shy away from drink but rather it stops feeling good. So I stop. Does everyone else just ignore this or does it just escalate?

Now the drugs. I don't mind drugs. I don't do them. Occasionally I have been recreational. I don't like smoking but have a lot of friends who smoke. I would prefer they didn't but I am not going to lecture them. They know what it's all about and probably better than me. Actually to put it better I can't smoke. I know if I tried I could get past coughing and hacking but then again when I think about it I would rather not have the ability to smoke.

On one occasion however, I tried shrooms. I was with a group of people. We all did them at the time. Let me expand.

We were in a flat. Lets say it belonged to Mr Flat. And there was a few of us there. Lets call them me (duh), Mr Beard, Mr Hat, Mr Bore and Pete. Mr Flat had invited us for drinks and some gaming. But then he came into his room with a tub. In this was what I would guess was quite a lot of shrooms. He enthusiastically dished them out. It was after a few minutes that we decided to go out to the union. This quite a walk from the flat but we felt up to it. Except from the fact we are not dressed accordingly. So Mr Flat dished out his Hawaiian shirts. There was enough for all but me. So I got a Davy Crockett hat. You know the one made from a beaver and it has the beaver tail. This wasn't made from beaver however.

So we set out! It was admittedly clumsy. We were all singing and dancing down the street except from Mr Bore. He was not so affected by the drugs. He was a little worried about us but we bounded on none the less. It was then that Pete spotted a Tropic Thunder poster on a phonebox. He wanted it. He couldn't get it off however. Then I peeled of a corner a little. He ran over and took it in an instant. But when he did this he was struck with horror. Ben Stiller was on the poster staring at him. But he was off the phonebox. HE WAS GOING TO DIE!

Pete spent the next good hour running around screaming about having to get Ben Stiller in a freezer so he doesn't die. He ran back to his own flat to do just this. He took Mr Bore and Mr Beard with him. We did not see them again that night.

Me, Mr Flat and Mr Hat were left to go on to the union. But the lighting unsettled Mr Flat and he wanted to go home. The street lighting freaked him out and he just wanted to leave. Along the way Mr Hat refused to proceed unless I moved a hub cap off the pavement. I threw it in a bush somewhere. I then got pizza from a takeaway. This in itself was weird.

As I stood waiting for my pizza Mr Hat and Mr Flat stood outside staring at me. I stared back. All of us staring in amazement. I looked at two gawking men with Hawaiian shirts on outside in the dark and cold whereas they stared at me with my beaver hat waiting for a pizza. As soon as I got it and went outside Mr Hat asked for a slice. I refused and used this as a premise that nobody is getting pizza till we are back at the flat. This was a longer walk than I thought. And on the way Mr Hat was adamant that every passing van was the government and we are being watched. However this subsided as we got in the flat and ate cold pizza. Mr Flat thought it would be a good idea to watch a movie. A really arty one about a killer picking off a group of men for revenge.

As the film trundled on and we were bemused by its themes and story half way in Mr Hat remembered he had pizza left in his mouth from about half an hour ago. He reckoned the best scene from the film was a car going down a street. I am sure it was just an establishing shot.

And that was about all that happened that crazy night. I thought it was fun. Wouldn't mind to do something similar again but I' not really going to go out my way either. To be fair I am happy without drugs. I am happy without alcohol but it seems like a good thing for partying.